A letter to someone

January 28, 2010

To you,

I had to write this letter just to ease the pain. I wanted to tell you a lot of things but I never had the courage to do so.

I thought it was all fun and stuff. That the feeling would fade away after some time. I never thought I’ll fall in love with a guy like you.

Now I am torn between the feelings of letting you go or fighting for you after all that had happened.

Do you want me out of your life? Just tell me. I never wanted to compete with your dreams. I understand them as always. I never wanted to bring up topics like this for I am afraid you would take it seriously. And I am afraid I’ll lose you. I know that you can actually live without me and I can’t.

And I never wanted to demand anything from you. I hated you but only for a while. I hated myself more because when I am supposed to let go, you would appear out of nowhere and the feeling would be there again even though you made me cry a lot of times already.

The feelings I had for HIM (you know him) were long gone. It came to a point where I cried because I never wanted to hurt you. That if I choose to continue being a fool, I know I’ll hurt someone who have waited for his turn just so I could notice him. To tell you I have always noticed you, I was just afraid of admitting to the world I feel the same way.

I’m sorry for all the pain. I’m sorry for taking you for granted. I loved you and I still love you but I couldn’t find the words to bid goodbye now that things are complicated.

~antonette

 

Through my eyes

January 8, 2010

We’re humans and we’ve got feelings and that’s something special.

A quote I’ve been pondering on from the comic Magazine W.I.T.C.H. I have hurt a lot of people and I hate it. But that doesn’t give them any right to hurt me too.

I stood there at the school grounds watching the fireworks surrounded by hundreds of heads some I barely knew at all. I clutched myself for it was getting cold, it’s dark and I’m starving.

      As I enjoyed the moment I couldn’t help but think that how I wish all the hurt inside me would just disappear as the firecrackers explode in midair; emit different colors of light that shines above the heads of the watchers and then all the sparks would just die out in just a minute or two with only smoke as its residue.

     I’m tired of keeping everything to myself. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of smiling when in fact I do no longer have the courage to smile and what only keeps me going is the fact that I don’t want my friends to see me cry.

     I am saddened by the fact that on this big big world when I feel so down, I’ll end up being exaggerated in their eyes and I couldn’t do anything else but cry alone for I have no one to cry on… there’s just no one to listen and there’s just no one to comfort me.

Scribbles of a child

January 3, 2010

I wrote this one again for my younger bro, Raffy.

♥♥♥

If you can’t see something it doesn’t mean that it’s not there… a passage from an old movie we used to watch when we were still young, the Small Soldiers. It was a movie about a boy and some moving and talking action figures. Some of them became his friends while the rest became his enemies.

It correlates so much with life. We are the major characters in the movie and then we have friends and enemies. Each of them play an important role in our lives; they all teach us a lesson we will need later on in life no matter what side they’re on.

Just a few months now and I shall be ending the movie I’ve started within the premises of this school. I shall be threading a new path beyond the boundaries I was once afraid to step on. We experience things that are worth remembering and as time passes by, the only things that will be left are the memories. I shall be leaving all the bad memories behind and I will carry on the worthy ones.

Think about the people in your life right now, they tend to pull you down or they’ll help you up so you can reach your goals and succeed. Trusting people and taking risks are all part of the process of life.

“If we fight, we will lose… but if we hide we still lose… so no more hiding.” We tend to run away from everything when the world seems dark, we give up. No matter how hard life is, we shouldn’t let the fear of failing and falling struck us and stop us from moving on. Let us always bear in mind that the road towards our goal will always be difficult, yet tough it may seem there’s always a way out. We forget that there are a lot of people out there who are ready to help us whenever we’re in need. We just neglect them.

Life is a race… but it doesn’t really matter whether you reach the goal first or not. What matters in the end are the experience and the lessons we learned in life, whether we made a difference. I know it’s only the start of the adventure; it’s too early to say something that we will regret at the end. Even if I couldn’t see the goal yet I know it’s there… waiting for me.

The most beautiful things in life cannot be seen but can only be felt. The memories I’ve had will be kept deep inside my heart and whenever I look back, it will bring me back to those days I treasure so much. We may all have to part ways someday. We may leave the people we love and we would have to let go either but I know that we’re all under the same sky so we could never be that far. I may not see them often but I have them here in my heart. It’s a small world after all…

~ant

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post from my friendster blog

• October 6, 2009

 

 

Change

 

I wrote this for my younger brother….

♥♥♥

Oftentimes we experience change. We have to admit it that we hate such thing even though it is a permanent one. We tend to forget that it’s a usual part of life and it is common for everyone.

It’s more annoying when it happens to our friends. All of a sudden they grew up and mature into individuals we barely knew. And with my young mind I couldn’t help but ask why certain things just happen although I know I am changing, too.

I have had acquaintances and I have met new friends while I couldn’t help others leaving their long-time footprints behind. My experiences showed me that the world will continue on moving even though I was left to dwell unto memories. I know they do not mean to do such thing, perhaps they are driven by something and as what I have said there is always a constant change.

It’s hard to let go of them because you know deep inside your heart that you spent your life keeping the connection alive. Bonds aren’t created overnight. You would have to earn for it… for months and for years. And I just hope that no matter how time flies, the bonds we have with my friends will always be there no matter what change may occur.

As I continued on with life I began to get used with the change I once hated even though it wasn’t easy to accept. It takes a lot of time and courage to get used to it.I still hate it sometimes but now I know that change somehow gives life an essence. We find those real people that would stay with us no matter how confusing life is. And they are those who are really worthy to be called friends.

There are a lot of lessons out there but so far I have learned; you will never know your importance unless you experience one. For every move you do, you change a life… or you change your life. It is either for the better or for the worst. Through the changes we face, we discover the real world… if we’re lucky we find ourselves… we realize who we really are and our worth.

 

~ant

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post from my friendster blog

•  October 6, 2009

 

 

 

 

Her writings on her wall

Oooopsies… just wanted to break the silence within my blog.. it has been ages since i last posted here and i miss writing stuffs… however life’s making us all busy…

 

So as i was a bit sneaky… what i do when i’m bored and i have nothing else to do aside from editing photos and writing unnecessary things concerning about my life is to read…

I read books, news i found interesting, feature stories and BLOGS…

 

i happen to passed by R-yan’s place…

*coughs* Ma’am Ariane

 

and her blog posts struck me - i was smiling and laughing when i read them *nods* - i just hope she doesn’t get angry with me for reposting her articles in my blog. I’m going to give her all the credit though, i just wanted to share it although i know only a few people read other people’s blog.. or i might be wrong.

 

I sent her a message and she agreed that i could repost them here - i have proof… *grins*

 

i own nothing here except for this brief introduction (isn’t it quite obvious that i’m trying my best to make it appear long by adding spaces *snaps fingers*) Okay…Fine… I’m not going to bug you with my words anymore… enjoy reading and try to ENGULF EVERY WORD.

 

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“Love Triangles”

Lately, napansin ko, medyo uso na naman pala ang mga third parties… Most people who got dumped for another would say “it wasn’t my fault! It was that b*tch/Ah*le!” well, maybe yes… maybe no… I don’t know… But i have this question in mind though…

You see, kapag hindi pa kayo, kahit nililigawan ka nya, kung hindi mo pa naman siya sinasagot, kapag tumingin sya sa iba, wala kang karapatang sumbatan sya…

Kung kayo na, tapos tumingin sya sa iba, yan, pwede mo na syang sumbatan to your heart’s content…

Pero pano pag kayo nga, and he fell for somebody else,.. Yes of course you have the right to fight for him but the thing is, what’s there to fight for diba? Mahal mo nga sya, pero mahal naman nya’y iba. Ipaglaban mo man sya, ang tanong ngayon ay, para saan pa?

Para sa mga iniwan at ipinagpalit sa iba jan,. Para sa mga nagkaron ng “unfaithful” partners… i can’t say “i understand” because the thing is, i haven’t been there yet. But one thing is for sure, hindi nyo sila kawalan. Sabi nga nila, there are many fishes in the sea. You just happen to have caught the janitor fish which sucks on every dirt it senses… Swim on, marami pa jan^_^

Para sa mga naiwan parin, but whose partners were brave enough to tell them they’ve met somebody else. Well, i’m sorry for the loss and yet, probably it was a blessing na kahit papano, you had the opportunity to spend time with someone who is brave enough to let you know things… You see, when they tell you they’ve met someone, its not just you who is hurting. In one way or another, i know, they’re hurting, too.

Para naman sa mga nangloko at nang-iwan: bilog ang mundo. Wait till you find your match.

At syempre, para sa mga faithful, hmmm… ano nga bang sasabihin ko sa inyo? There’s no greater gift to your partner than respect and unconditional love… For some people, they don’t believe in happily ever afters… Who knows if it does really exist. Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t… But i’m sure, its something we make… It’s a recipe designed for two people to make… so when you find that person you see yourself growing old with, make sure you start making your own happy ending.

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“FYI”

 

To all those who keep on comparing themselves to other people;

To all those who think they are better than everybody else;

To all those who think so highly of themselves and who belittle others;

Heed this:

 

 

What has gotten into you? Why do you keep comparing yourself to other people? Tell me, does it give you a great feeling of satisfaction to brag about you being better than most people surrounding you?

 

Well, sorry to burst your bubble dear but I beg to disagree. Graduating from one of the most prestigious universities does not make you smarter nor more qualified nor better than everybody else. In fact, earning a bachelor’s degree, from any school for that matter, does not make you any more special than anybody.

 

You see dear, you can’t just judge people based from their educational background. Sometimes, better lessons are learned from outside the restricted corners of classrooms.

 

Remember dear that the man who discovered fire was not even capable of fully speaking a defined language, much more reading and writing. Look back in history. A lot of personalities who has admirable achievements didn’t even know what college meant and yet, they succeeded. They didn’t earn any degrees but they certainly know what they really wanted in life and they were certain with what they were capable of doing. And I think, beyond good education, having that kind of outlook in life would be a much greater advantage to anybody’s part.

 

So the next time you compare yourself with other people just because of your educational attainment, THINK AGAIN.

 

Remember what our teachers in primary school kept telling us: EMPTY CANS PRODUCE GREATER NOISE WHEN YOU LET IT ROLL DOWN THE HILL THAN THE FULL ONES.

 

To sum things up, the point dear is:

1.   Stop belittling other people;

2.   Nobody is better than anybody;

3.   Before you open your mouth, examine yourself carefully;

4.   If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep your thoughts to yourself;

5.  Stop comparing yourself to other people

6.   Lastly, prove that you’re worth something. Please, quit complaining!

 

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I copied the quote from her blog post entitled, “Places i want to go”

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Just what the book “The Secret” says: The world is governed by law of attraction. Your thoughts are transformed into energy which stimulates the universe to change it self into something that you’ve thought it to be. You attract what you think.

 

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“Speaking of the Devil”

Last time, I talked about places where I want to go. Today I’d like to talk about rights. First in my list is the very much abused freedom of speech.

 

It’s a common knowledge, even to a grade schooler, that freedom of speech is something innate. Something that comes naturally, just like breathing. This is basically the reason why this is one right that is commonly abused by some people. But you see, it does not have to be this way.

 

Freedom of speech, just like everything else, just like life itself, has its limitations. Not because you were given a gallon of ice cream means you’d eat it all right?

 

EVERYTHING THAT IS IN EXCESS IS BAD FOR YOU.

 

We were given the basic freedom of speech for us to be able to express our selves. Well probably, for you, talking ill of someone or something may still be covered by your freedom of speech. Well, probably it is, probably its not (remember slander and libel?). But you see, the world is governed by certain laws. Laws equals limitations. It might not have been explicitly stated in our bill of rights that our freedom to speak has limitations but certainly, there are limitations to it. What limits our right to speak is called your ETIQUETTE, MANNERS, DECORUM. If you don’t have this, then I understand why you’re like that.

 

And speaking of this right, there’s this one way that most people today use to abuse this right and that is: UNLIMITED TEXT MESSAGING, GROUP MESSAGING.

 

Well, at first I said, unlitxts come quite handy, especially during my college days wherein we had to relay school info to our classmates. But later on, with all due respect to everybody, it became such a nuisance. You see, most of my classmates back then were using a SMART SIM and I was using globe. So what happens most of the time is that, messages are relayed but only to those who are using smart sim because, quote and unquote: “Wala akong extra load”. Okay fine.

 

And today? I’m getting spam messages about low interest loans, promos and other bunch of nonsense!

 

What’s even worse is that, some people also use it as a sort of blog, you know, texting people to update friends to let them know what’s up with them.

 

Well, it’s good to be connected. I admit, I do GMing sometimes but before I send it to my grouplist, I read my message a couple of times first. I have to consider whether:

1.   it is worth sending at all (especially that I don’t use unlitxts because I don’t know how to use it^_^)

2.   whether it may be offensive to some or not and lastly

3.   whether the people in my grouplist would be able to relate to it or not.

The last time I went out, I heard this group of teens saying “Nag GM na naman sya. Like may sense naman sinasabi nya right? Sayang lang ATP nya sa pagtetxt”.

 

Well, come to think of it, sana, before you guys send your next GM, think about this: would those people in your grouplist really appreciate it? Or would they rather think it’s a waste of storage space?

 

As they say, there are three things in this world that can never be taken back: time spent, actions done and words spoken.

 

So be careful with what you say/text. You may regret sending/saying them in the long run.

 

So this is it. Enjoy the rest of your day people!

 

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Learned something?

*winks*

Ü

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post from my friendster blog

• August 4, 2009