A Hole in the Wall

This is an article i wrote for our philosophy class. Needed some time for reflection after a quite euphoric and difficult term.

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Eighteen years of existence and I have never had many questions in life until I began attending Philosophy Class. It was one subject I would always look forward to embark upon every Monday, Wednesday and Friday morning. I once thought of it as a subject I just have to attend to, but I got it wrong. Philosophy had engulfed me and has taken me into an unending journey of understanding life; a voyage that would still sail through stormy seas; a hike that would keep on climbing till it reaches the mountain’s peek.

I tend to look at things before the superficial way, but with Philosophy, I began understanding things deeper. I guess Philosophers would say there’s no superficial or deeper meaning for things but it’s just a simple meaning. Dealing with almost everything, it’s a complete eye opener and I suggest everyone should study it as I am a living proof that indeed it reveals truths about the world we are in.

To my understanding, Philosophy was made to question things yet to strengthen the very foundation of something… and that something I guess is you. I don’t know if that is right, but since I’ve been studying it, I have learned to question things a lot which I never did for the past years of my life. Every time I say or someone says something, an idea comes into my mind that somehow doubts the answer or the question itself. I’ve become inquisitive, inquisitive than ever… about other’s existence and my own. See, I’ve discovered a great deal of notion.

As I sat there and listened to our instructor as he discussed about things related to philosophy, the things around me. I was puzzled. I admit it had confused me instead of clearing things. Possibly, the confusion I have been feeling then have pushed me to eagerly pay attention although I barely recite at class. But then as days went by and I have sewed the pieces of information together, I started to appreciate and love the subject. I was fascinated with all the concepts… the world, LIFE itself.

Pardon me for being quite random with this essay. Perhaps a lot of questions can be raised about this piece of writing of mine. All the things I’ve included in here and I consider as ideas may just be or I’d rather say my mere intuitions about things; they are just mere copies of the original objects I have encountered and I could not even explain this well. I’m distracted with the thought that my thumb drive is missing, it’s lost. Perhaps the idea that I lost my USB is just a mere impression that I lost it. It’s just there… just around.

In a world full of qualms, studying Philosophy is finding an answer to all the doubts you have. You learn the meaning of life, appreciate the simplest of things and understand every how and why of them. Philosophy questions everything… every single detail, yet the answers to those questions are again questions. It’s an unending cycle of queries. It unlocked the doors to finding one’s real identity, for one to find their real purpose.

Although I may not be able to fully explain all the concepts, it’s enough for me that I have grasped something from it. I could not fully understand philosophy in one go and it would take me days, months and years to completely learn the notions by heart. But I am thankful and grateful that there’s something like this in which we could get some motivations to look forward to as we go on with our own life.

It was like being in a wilderness and then after some searching’s and explorations we find our way out and find ourselves in a different state of understanding things. And after every class, after some questionings and other inquiries about the lesson, I have new things to ponder on and apply if there is a need for it to be.

My perspective about the world was broadened by the idea that I was one with it. And oftentimes in life I find myself musing over things, I feel lost although I’m standing there, my mind somehow drifts off to places I don’t know and to think about things I don’t have any idea of. I find myself doing some things I am not aware of like heading off to somewhere with an unknown reason. Those maybe funny but are truths. Philosophy is the key to understanding my existence however I know that would take time. As I learned more things about myself, I have learned more about the world. Oftentimes I always do what I want and I desire for things… the truth is, those things are not the real ones I need.

Life has its twists and turns and I would have to deal with all of them. Right now, I’m stuck. Where? I still don’t know. Maybe a part of me is still standing on the other side of the cliff deciding on what would be the best path I should take; I’m still afraid to jump to the other side of it and face all the risks and obstacles that await me. I was never that strong enough to brave all the odds of life sticking at different angles. But I think I am armed now, maybe it wasn’t enough but in the battle of life I needed armour… and somehow Philosophy gave me more than what I have asked for.

~antonette

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post from my friendster blog

•  March 17, 2009