The trails

My hand trembled as I tried to grasp for words. I actually do not know how to say it. We started a small story and it grew big… bigger than we could have imagined. Tied a ribbon and it got tighter and tighter that it’s already hard to unfasten.

Another day down. A count down to that day I won’t be seeing them in that “mini mental” as how Lot-Lot calls it. The day I wouldn’t be able to cross the window next to the veranda anymore just so I could get in. The day no one would be calling for me, shouting for “pet” out the window or at the veranda anytime of the day. That morning that I wouldn’t be leaving the iron by the window. That day I wouldn’t be able to hear their voices, their laughs. That day would be one of my gloomiest days. And I don’t want think of it. Coz that day I’ll be missing them so much.

I never thought I’d be that close to them. Closer than those I knew for years. I found great solace with them that they made me feel like I’m always loved no matter how much I’m down.

I’ve always wanted to have a sister and Danda and yee filled that position. Before I used to cry alone, and I still do but it felt great that they’re ready to listen to me and they’re ready to give me a hug every time I need one. Dada always annoys people, yes. But I’m much more annoying than him. He resembled an older brother I wanted. Someone who would laugh at me yet he’ll know when to stop and when to comfort me. I felt safe when I’m with them like no one could hurt me coz I know that their love for me is stronger than the pains I have. I never could have imagined myself without them.

It was just for three months that we have been together (that’s for my case) and it seemed like forever. The hands of clock ticked so fast that I never thought it would have to end.

I know I am crazy but then they have made me crazier.

But the craziness was just a way of dealing with the tiredness, with the pains that sometimes find its way to us. “Anlakas kaya ng osmotic pressure ko at anlakas ng hydrostatic pressure nila kase nagdiffuse na sakin ang mga ugali nila.”

You know the feeling of warmth and love when they’re around. They made me feel so secured.

Well, I just want to say I’ll miss them.

Robinson’s, Shawarma rice, balot, empanada, watch a movie to manage the pain and to pass the time, laugh, and all the impulsiveness.

I’ll miss them.

I’ll miss them.

And I’ll just miss them.

I’ll miss Danda.

Ngayon nga ilang minutes ko pa lang siyang hindi nakikita namimiss ko na sya. Kaya ko nga sya kinukulit ng ganun at inaasar. Haha, I won’t forget that night na natutulog sya at idinikit ko kay bleng ang picture na yun saka ko iniwan sa harap nya. LOL. Tawang tawa si Yapot. Wala lang. nakakamiss lang isipin.

I’ll just miss bonding with them.

I’ll miss you guys

And I’ll miss you again.

Coz I’m missing you now.

Thank you for staying active during those times that I am passive and impaired.

We have imprinted our own footprints in each other’s lives and when we find ourselves lost in the middle of all the worries all we have to do is to follow the trail and we’ll find the comfort we need. It’s not as if it’s end of the world but hello, they have been my world for those moments how could I prevent my world from ending when we are all parting ways… for this summer.

But apart from that, I know that they will still be there. We can still hang out together although not every night. We’ll be seeing each other at school although not often as we want to but the promise of staying and not leaving will be kept.

Dadandayeepet

<3

~pet