Scented parchments

It was already the crack of dawn and I was still awake, writing something about myself and about my world. Less than a month before Christmas, it had been a busy year for me and for everyone. I guessed busy wasn’t really the best word to explain the 11 months that had flied so fast. Frantic or probably toxic? I don’t know, so many things had happened within that span of time. It felt like it was just yesterday I was still trying to adjust with the new environment I had again.

I experienced a lot yet I was not saying I had experienced so much because I knew there are more things waiting ahead of me. I’ve developed into someone, not into something, hope worth keeping for. Driven by a lot of things in this world, I’ve tried to keep track of my life so as not to lose my way. Through life’s ups and downs I’m thankful I’ve managed to get through them.

~~Pardon me if I am being so shifty with my tenses as oftentimes I can’t manage to stick with one.~~

I remembered the times when it felt like it was the end of my world because of high expectations I couldn’t reach. There would be unexpected outburst of feelings and I would find myself crying at night. I was too preoccupied with stuffs I couldn’t get a grip of some of them now, so perhaps that was one of the reasons why I would just cry with unknown reasons.

Nostalgic. I tried to spread my wings for many opportunities. I got acquaintances and I’ve earned new friends while I couldn’t prevent others leaving their long time footprints behind and moving on. I was left to dwell on memories. They had changed me; they’re one of the reasons why I was like this now, when in fact I was totally different before. I didn’t know why I had let them change me into a person I couldn’t explain.

I think I am still melodramatic at times or perhaps you’ll say oftentimes, when writing blog entries like this. This isn’t the whole story of my life though, and somehow, I can not entrust my life with online blogs and journals so keeping it within myself would be the best choice I have.

~antonette~

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post from my friendster blog

November 30, 2008.